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My conversation with Kenny made me realize he didn’t value me as his wife and so I made a decision to give him space. I called my mum and told her I was coming home for a week. I was able to convince her Kenny supported my decision and I packed my bags. I was going to go home for a week. The next morning I told Kenny about my trip,
”I listened to everything you said and I have decided we probably need to give each other some space. I am taking a break and travelling to my parent’s house”. I said
Kenny shook his head, ”you should be ashamed of yourself Lola. In fact when they call women to stand up, you should hide your face in shame. So you cannot take care of your home, you can’t satisfy your husband and now rather than deal with your problems you are running?
”Kenny, I refuse to be insulted. I sat quietly while you heaped insults on me yesterday but that doesn’t mean I will continue to take it. You said my presence is causing you sorrow and now I am giving you space. I will take the time apart to pray for us”
”I don’t freaking need your prayers madam. In fact, God will not answer that prayer because he has told you everything you need to do in the Bible. Stop praying for me and start satisfying me”.
”Ehen, so the other day, when I bought sexy lingerie and waited for you at home, did you not leave me hanging? You are confused and don’t know what you want”.
”You want to go? Fine! Get the hell out but you just might not meet this marriage when you come back”.
”Like I said, I will take the time apart to pray, God will sustain our home” I told him emphatically.
He just shook his head and closed his eyes on the bed, effectively ending the conversation. I packed my bags and headed straight to the airport.
Late in the night that day, while I sat in my parent’s sitting room, my mum was trying to get stories out of me.
”So why didn’t Kenny take a break with you madam?”
”Mum, he is busy with work, that’s the same thing I told dad before”.
”That doesn’t mean he should not spend a weekend with us. We have not seen him since the wedding.”
”Isn’t that why I am here? At least once you see one of us you have seen two of us. After all the two have become one.” I said laughing.
”Okay , no problem. I tried to call him earlier that we have seen his wife but he was not picking his call”.
”I am sure he will probably call you back tomorrow. He is probably resting early now that I am not home”.
”Okay, but Omolola how is marriage life? I hope you are being submissive and taking care of your husband well enough”.
”Mummy, did he complain to you? I am trying my best”.
”Why are you getting defensive? Is everything okay? I hope this delay in pregnancy isn’t putting you under pressure?”
”No, it’s not mum, we are fine with it. Everything is okay”.
”There is no cause for alarm yet. It’s not even up to a year yet. I waited 3 years before I was able to get pregnant with your elder brother and then you so everything will be fine.”
”I know mum…”
The hard knock on the door startled us.
”Mum are you expecting anyone so late? Its 11pm already and dad has gone to bed”.
”No I am not but it could be that our neighbours need something, go and open the door”.
As I got close to the door to open it, I was suddenly knocked off my feet by the force of it being jacked open. My eyes went wide open as I saw them, three in number with their weapons held up high. I closed my eyes shut and began to pray.
”Okay so pray very well beautiful girl, you just might need it” the voice said. My eyes was still squeezed shut so I could not identify which of them spoke. As soon as I felt a hand pull me by my hair, my eyes flipped open and I was dragged into the living room to meet my mum who was already in tears and shaking.
Five days later, I woke up once again with screams as has been the practice since that horrible night. My dad was immediately by my side soothing me as the tears rolled down my face.
”It’s okay Omolola. You’re fine and safe. Daddy is here”.
”Daddy, I am afraid. Kenny has not come”.
”I know he hasn’t. I will still call him again. Just try and get stronger first okay?”
”He hasn’t picked my calls dad. Since you told him, he has not picked my calls once”.
As my dad eventually left me alone in the bedroom with my thoughts, I recalled that evil night as clear as the day. I remember my dad being dragged from the bedroom and asked to give them money. I remember the exhaustive search for money which proved abortive as my dad and mum only had a total of about N50,000 at home. I remember adding the N20,000 I had in my bag and the man telling me I was insulting him with change. As soon as I apologized, he looked at me and really looked at me and I knew what he was going to do before he even did it. I could see it vividly in his eyes. I begged,
”Please, I am married. I beg you”
”So what are you doing in daddy’s house fine girl, your husband is not servicing you well abi? I will help his matter. He needs help”.
I begged, my dad and mum begged and his only response was because of their begging, he won’t make them watch. I fought as hard as I could and for every struggle there was a slap and a punch. He finally had to get the other man to hold me down. I fought every step of the way. I was numb. The physical pain was welcome, I could deal with that. I couldn’t deal with the heaviness that crushed my heart. All through as he kept thrusting faster than I could ever imagine, I thought of Kenny and how much pain this was going to cause him. I remember him warning me not to make this trip. He kept going on and on for about thirty minutes before he finally let go. Funny how he had the decency to use a condom. I had no strength left. I was broken. For the first time in my christian walk, I questioned God. I asked him questions. His silence was deafening.
It has been five days since my nightmare, five days since my dad informed Kenny, three days since I got back home from the hospital and he still hasn’t showed up. I have no more will left to even live another day…..