Endless tears Episode 22

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I pulled my faded gown over my head as stared at the full length mirror. The gentle swell of my tummy brought joy to my soul. Notwithstanding what I was going though, my child was my happiness and I have made the habit of talking to my child before I sleep, believing that the fetus could hear everything I said. This would be the first time I am stepping out of the house and there was a tiny feeling of excitement. My hair was pulled tight into a pony tail and I turned away from the mirror, not looking at myself for a long time. I stared at the credit card that Alex gave me two weeks ago. How could there be money in this plastic card? I wondered vaguely. I picked it up nonetheless. I hoped that Tina would be able to use it since we might be needing money.
I climbed down the staircase and found Tina waiting for me. Even in a maid’s cloth, her appearance was way better than mine but I did not give a damn. I would be damned if I would accept Alex’s money for my own personal expenses. I would only take whatever is necessary if my child is involved.
We walked to the door together talking quietly and out of the corner of my eyes; I caught Tola staring at us. I paused slightly and turned to Tola. “Please take care of the house, we would be back soon”
“Yes ma” she said bitterly.
I turned and proceeded out of the house with Tina. “Do you think you can walk? The hospital is not far but if you can’t handle the walk, we can ask a driver to take us”
I laughed. “Oh Tina, the pregnancy is not on my feet. If I can’t walk now, what would happen when I am nine months gone? I am sure I would not be able to lift a finger.”
She laughed and we both started down the beautiful street. I stared shamelessly at the beautiful surroundings and decided that taking a stroll every morning would be a fantastic idea. It would be good to leave the depressing house every morning, I told myself. It did not take long for us to get to the hospital. I went through the registration process and was made to take lectures with many pregnant women. It was refreshing to see women who were also pregnant, especially the heavy ones who looked like they were carrying nothing less than a dozen children in their tummy. I wondered what I would look like in the next six to seven months. I smiled at the thought. I might look three times my current size but I did not care. I was always a lover of children and the thought of having my own was too exciting a thought; I would not let thoughts of the child’s father kill that silent joy.
Before leaving the hospital hours later, a female doctor approached me. “Hi” she said with a soft smile.
I was in a really good mood for the first time in a very long time, so I smiled gaily at her. “Hello doctor”
“I don’t think I have seen you here before” the nurse said.
Tina smiled. “Actually, she is new in the environment” she said hastily.
The doctor smiled kindly. “Oh. Have you done your scan?” she asked and my heart froze. I definitely knew what a scan was, through extensive reading. But what I did not know was if I was ready to know the sex of my child.
“I… I don’t think…erm…” I stammered in anxiety.
Tina faced me. “Actually, that is a very good idea ma’am” her brows creased in a frown. “Why not? It would help you know the kind of clothes to buy. You might even be carrying twins” she squealed in sudden excitement.
I fidgeted with my gown in anxiety. She really had a point, and a part of me really wanted to know. In fact, all of me wanted to know. My only wish was that the man I loved was there with me holding my hands. I swallowed, quickly changing my line of thoughts. I smiled weakly at the doctor. “Can I do it now?”
She nodded excitedly. “I am sure you would be glad you did the scan.” She said. “Come with me”
I followed her and the presence of Tina was really a life saver. I did not know why I was so agitated. Probably because a part of me knew without a doubt that the child would be a boy. I swallowed. It was also probably because the scan would remind me vividly of the time the life in my tummy was created. How Alex worshipped me with his hands, body and words. I concentrated on breathing properly as the doctor led me to bed in the lab. I lay on the bed with my heart pounding and fixed my wide eyes on the screen ahead of me. Tina was standing beside me, hopping anxiously too. The doctor did some things on my tummy and an image appeared on the screen. My heart skipped and raced wildly as tears came to my eyes. I saw my baby! My baby! My thoughts centered on the life growing in me as my love for my child grew several degrees.
“Oh so cute” Tina cooed and jumped like a four year old girl. I wiped my tears which was making my vision blurry and fixed one hundred percent attention on the child. Oh, how could I not love the child?
“A boy right?” I gasped out. Even my voice sounded strange in my ears. I swallowed hard.
“Yes. A boy” the doctor grinned happily. The baby turned slightly, as though in confirmation. I gasped and my hands flew to my tummy as my eyes blurred with tears again.
“My baby. My baby boy”


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