“I opened my eyes to the tap of my mum’s hand. I felt a bit hot and feverish, having to swallow hard before uttering a word.
“Mama”
“Amara, your husband has sent someone to pick you up” she said.
My heart beat escalated and she touched my hand, coming instantly to touch my neck. “My God, your temperature is so high, are you sick my dear?” she asked, jumping up at once.
“I am fine mama” I murmured.
“You are not. You are as hot as a boiling kettle. You can’t go anywhere today. Let me get you some drugs, I will tell the guy to come for you tomorrow” she said hurriedly.
I shook my head, “No mama, I would leave this place today” I said.
She frowned. “You are not well Amara, let me take care of you, I know that that useless husband of yours would not do anything” she said with obvious anger.
Her anger was starting to irritate me. “Whether you like it or not, I am leaving this place now. I have signed the contract of this marriage, it is high time I stopped postponing the inevitable and start living the life I signed up for” I tried to get up, hiding my slight discomfort. My tummy hadn’t started protruding because I was just two months gone but as I sat up, I could not escape the sudden wave of dizziness that gripped me. I shut my eyes tight for several seconds until I felt safe to open them.
“Please be reasonable Amarachi” Mum pleaded as I pushed off the bed and slipped on my slippers.
“I am the only one being reasonable here mama” I stopped. “Wait, what am I saying? I am the most unreasonable and senseless person on earth, but I knew mama, I knew marriage to Corper Bello was a terrible idea.” I turned hurt eyes at her. “Mama, I made a mistake, even God knows that I made the worst mistake of my life, but don’t I deserve forgiveness? Do I have to spend my whole life paying for this one mistake that I made?” I cried. “When I discovered that Corper was a wicked man, I was ready to take care of my child alone, I wanted to, I only needed the support of my parents, even if it was only you” I swallowed and shook my head. “But you did not support me mama, you could not stand up to your husband; you never could, even if it was for your only child” I exhaled. “Now, I have done what papa wants me to do; please don’t try to stop me because I would not listen to you”
I opened the door and walked out, leaving my mum white-faced, with tears streaming down her cheeks. I knew I was transferring the aggression I was feeling but I really could not help myself. I had blamed myself too much for my misfortunes and I felt it might ease my burden and guilt if I blamed someone else. As I walked, I discovered that it did not work, if anything, what I just did was making me feel guiltier for making my mum sad.
My dad stood up and approached me immediately I entered the sitting room and I wished I could have escaped him somehow. Anger took over me again as I wondered what the hell he was about to say to me. No doubt, he would insult the living daylight out of me again, and I obviously deserve it.