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‘’If Life Was A Movie
If life was Nigerian movie, one day thunder will strike
and Messi will fall on the pitch and start shouting
Messi: I will confess!!! I will confess!!! Pls o I will talk o, I tied Ronaldinho and made him destructive and lose form in his last season.
MESSI: I also used the charm I got from Argentina to tie Theiry Henry, to make sure he doesn’t shine better than me. (Messi coughs and continues) I cursed Bojan and Giovanni Dos Santos when they started playing well and wanted to be better than me.
Messi: I made Guardiola sell Etoo to Inter milan because his juju was spoiling my own.
Barca Fans: Ewoooo… We always knew Guardiola was not in his right senses when he sold Etoo for nothing.
Messi: I used Ibrahimovic’s face to taunt Guardiola and chase him with cutlass in his dream, cos he started scoring when he come to Barca, that’s why Guardiola started avoiding Ibrahimovic
Crowd: No wonderrrrr!!! This boy you are evil
Messi: I tried to use my charm on Suarez and Neymar that’s why they played badly when they first joined Barca, but their families’ prayers freed them from my coven.
L. Enrique: ALU!!!! ABORMINATION!!! !!
Messi: I made Holland hammer Spain in the world cup in Brazil so that Xavi and Iniesta would be mocked
Xavi: Messi why na? After all the love we showed you.
Messi: I sacrificed Argentina and they will never win a major Senior trophy so that I can be winning the world best.
Higuain: Now I know why I missed all those simple chances to score… Chai!!!
Messi: Sepp Blatter is our occult grand-master that’s why he is always making sure I win the world best and my problems started when his own started too.
Sneijder: That’s why they denied me the world best player in 2010. I will kill you…
(Rushes to strangle Messi but Etoo holds him)
Messi: I made the press always write bad things about Ronaldo and always portray me as good, but I am the Evil genuis.
Goal.com pundit: Now I know why I love CR7 but I always report bad about him…
Messi: “I tried to kill Cristiano Ronaldo with
frustration in Euros and also caused his injury in the final of Euro so Portugal will not win the cup as I couldn’t win with Argentina but the rosary the Portuguese prayed made the juju to backfire and it is his God that hammered me with thunder. My body is burning fire ooo!! fire ooo!!! I have confessed I have confessed
Cristiano Ronaldo will then come with a bible and chaplet in his hands and start crying, and the background music will start playing one sobber song and Ferguson, Nani and Marcelo will start consoling him.
L. Enrique : Oya come and be going away from our club
Hleb: What did we do to deserve this?
Etoo: Thank God your juju could not work on me cos he that is in me is greater…
Pique: The chief must hear this.
Mikel: Shebi I tell una say na me deserve the best player for U20 world cup in 2005. (Pushes Messi’s head) Winch boy