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“If an Ibadan man was the owner of blackberry, BBM smileys would have had tribal marks.”
THE FIRST ALLOWY
God bless my able country Nigeria! Goddy and I have been living together for two weeks now and we were awaiting the alert of the first allowy in 2016 not knowing that the federal government will play a fast one on us. When we got to Ibadan, we were made to open another account where the Oyo state government will be paying us therefore rendering the Zenith bank account useless. We were made to open a Union bank account while we were also told that the Oyo state government will be paying us a state allowy of N4000 monthly. No be only federal government sef be scam, the Oyo state government was also a culprit. One of my sister who happens to be in the same PPA with me told me not to put mind on it because it was not regular. The foodstuffs we had at home was getting down daily. No federal or state allowy show face! Na there I know say we don enter one chance. One day, Goddy suggested that we should speak with one woman beside our house that sells foodstuffs named Mama Kadijat, Mama K for short. After much deliberation, we both summon courage to meet this woman if she can assist us with foodstuffs till the end of the month. Later in the evening, we got to Mama K’s shop. Ah, eyin Corper ema kale (Corpers, good evening). Mama K greeted us immediately she sighted us. Adupe ma (Thanks you Ma), I replied. I informed the woman about what we came for. After much pleading and promise not to fail her, she agreed to give us the food items we needed. During our CDS, the following week, we were briefed that the main reason we didn’t see allowy was because we have already been paid the money for December in camp, therefore before we can see any alert, it will be towards the second week of February. Yeeeeeeeeee! And we promised to settle Mama K at the ending of January. When it was on the 28th of January, Goddy suggested we had to leave the house to save ourselves from any embarrassment from this woman. You can never predict Mama K. I can never forget her encounter with Baba Ibeji. After one of the bout between him and his wife, Mama Ibeji left angrily the next day to God knows where leaving Baba Ibeji with 5 kids to feed. When he couldn’t sort things out with the available cash he has, he visited Mama K to collect foodstuffs from her with the view to pay back in two weeks. Two weeks came like a flash and he couldn’t meet up with the agreement made with Mama K. The guy man had to run away from home for some days and the very day he had in mind to come around past 10, he jammed Mama K infront of his door step. Na that day I know say Mama K was once a local wrestler. Other co tenants tried to separate them but this woman will not take all those shit not until Baba Ibeji was bleeding from the mouth.
Back to the Present
God helping us, allowy entered at a time nobody expected it to. It was what you can call an August visitor. Goddy called me immediately he got his and we both promised to meet at the Tantalizer at Iwo road to use the Atm machine there. My dear readers, if only we knew what would befall us, we would have gone to another place. On this fateful morning, Goddy and I met infront of the restaurant to meet a queue of people waiting to use the machine too. We got nearer to them and I asked a woman. Please, are you the last person here? Then the woman responded almost immediately, “I will always be the first and not the last” heeeeeee! I screamed in my mind! Ibadan people don come again o.
TO BE CONTINUED…