We came some minutes late into the
service and the worship session had
already begun. Contrary to the ushers
direction, we went straight to a place
where we can see clearly what the
instrumentalist are up to. Temmy and I
were also part of the choir but were not
in rehearsals on Saturday with obvious
reason for Temmy while mine was a
dumb reason, which is why I tried as
much as possible to avoid any of the
choir executives to avoid answering
questions on why I wasn’t at the
The worship session was a dull moment
for me as the lady leading decided to
use all the keys her voice could pick to
the obvious emotional and psychological
trauma of the keyboardist who shared
the mutual frustration with both the
lead and base guitarist. The drummer
was on his own as he has turned
worship songs to masquerade beat,
hitting the snare and base drum in
sanely incoherent manner while the
invited minister was just starring at him
with the generating set going off and
on. I guess the set wasn’t enjoying them
God eventually came to our rescue as the
choir coordinator change both the lead
singer and the drummer for the praise
session sensing the obvious
slaughtering of the worship songs by
two of his music soldiers. The service
went sweet afterwards with the invited
minister hammering the Word as if he
knows what I exactly needed to hear
The service came to an end and the first
timers were asked to stand while the
ushers guided them to the front seats.
One notable figure among the first timer
was a lady in glittering pink gown. Her
sense of dressing obviously shows she’s
not of our fellowship with her gold
colour neck chain complementing the
dangling earring which only add more
beauty to her light radiating shinning
skin. Her smile which I could only view
from the side is enough to break a forty
days fast without food or water and still
be filled. The way she carried herself
going to the front as they sing a
welcoming song for them is like that of
angel riding on mysterious horse.
At the saying of the grace, I picked my
Bible and headed straight for my hostel
as Temmy will be having some final year
executive meeting. I’ve not taken up to
seven steps when I was hijacked by the
choir’s female coordinator who contrary
to my expectation of her questioning my
absence from the rehearsals on
Saturday, only asked about my welfare
and project. We spoke for a while and as
I was about leaving, heard a warm,
sweet, angelically melodious and
contagious voice over my shoulder
“William”. I looked at the direction of the
voice and behold it was the first timer
lady with the pink dress. Looking more
closely, guess who it was;
I’ve known her to be beautiful judging
from the last time I saw her, but I never
knew her beauty surpasses my
imagination. I was already drenched in a
pool of emotion sighting her in full smile
and noticing her intimidating curvy
shape I’ve never noticed before but
made visible by the elegance dress. D–n!
Funmi: Good afternoon William. Happy
Sunday to you.
Me: Happy Sunday Funmi, how are you?
Funmi: I’m fine. I really enjoyed your
Me: Happy to hear that
Funmi: I’m thinking of changing over to
Me: You are highly welcome. But why?
Funmi: I got tired of my church
Me: You got tired of your church? Which
church is that?
Funmi: Well, I don’t really have a
permanent church. I go wherever I like
Me: And why is that? You’ve not found
any church you love?
Funmi: (Sighs) alright, the truth is, this is
the first time I’ll be attending a church
service since I got admission into this
Me: Wao! Almost five years?
Funmi: More than that, ever since I lost
my mum some years ago.
Me: Oh, sorry about that
Funmi: Thanks. I’m here today because
of somebody very dear to me. Though
he doesn’t know it.
Me: So you have somebody like that
here. And who is that? Maybe I know
Funmi: You did know him and he knows
you. He’s dark, of average height and
always wear a contagious smile.
Me: Hmm, you sound like a lady in love.
Funmi: Maybe, and yes he’s my angel.
Me: Wao! (So she already has somebody.
I really wish I’m the one she’s talking
about). Have you found him?
Funmi: Yes, gladly yes.
Me: So it’s a mere coincidence we meet
Funmi: (Smiling) not really. I know this is
Me: How did you?
Funmi: I got a tip from a friend
Me: Which friend, Ronke?
Temmy: (Talking over my shoulder) I am
the friend, “eye meji ko hun jasa”
Me: What did you guys planned behind
Temmy: Stay there. I’ll be going to
Rachael’s hostel from here,see you guys
later. Take care Funmi
Funmi: thank you Temmy
Me: Are you guys acting a script?
Funmi: (Smiling) can we go to your
Me: Yeah. Where is your ride?
Funmi: She needs servicing so I left her
for my mechanic to pick up
Me: Your mechanic work on Sunday?
Funmi: He decided to do it today
Funmi: William, I am very sorry about
Me: What happened yesterday?
Funmi: I’m sorry I couldn’t make it there
and my phone was totally down I
couldn’t reach you
Me: No problem, I’m not upset
Funmi: Really, is that true?
Me: Yeah, sort of
Funmi: I know you are angry. Temmy
told me you were.
Me: Okay, now I’m going to kill that boy
Funmi: I’m the one that asked him now
Me: (Sighs) Truth be told, I was a bit
angry, though I got there late myself.
Funmi: I’m really sorry
Me: No problem. By the way, what about
your friend you came for?
Funmi: He’s fine
Me: Will you at least tell me his name?
Don’t worry I won’t tell him your love for
Funmi: I’ll tell you his name later. And
he’ll find out my love for him by himself.
We left the church and headed for my
hostel. We branched at a shop where I
bought cold juice and also bought some
smoked fish, eggs, onions and fresh
tomatoes at the next shop. Clueless of
what my plan was, she offered to pay
for the items I bought to which I
rejected vehemently. We got to my hostel
with bunch of hostel guys sitting right in
front of the lodge. I tried to find a way
to bypass them to avoid their unwanted
jokes portraying emotional bully and
character assassination. Fortunately for
me, they got distracted by a sudden
noise coming from the other side of the
street to which I took the advantage and
zoom past them like an escape deer
from the lions den, avoiding Funmi from
Entering the room I switched on the fan
and she had already made herself
comfortable on the mattress before I
could offer her to sit as there was no
chair in our room. I asked for her
favorite type of movie to which she
chose American to my relief as I don’t
have Nollywood films on the system. I
opened the Hollywood folder for her to
chose whichever she desire there as I
excused myself to the kitchen to prepare
a Grade-A noddles she will live to
The noddles was done and I served her
and myself in different plates and pour
some juice for her asking her to eat.
Me: Can you please pause it and eat
Funmi: (Looking at the meal) Wao! This
Me: Believe me, more than the aesthetic
value, it taste great.
Me: Try it out
Funmi: (She took some bites) this taste
really good for a guy
Me: What do you mean for a guy? I’m
sure I am better than most ladies in
Funmi: (laughed) Well you try
Me: (I took some bites) This is indeed
Funmi: You are praising yourself
Me: yes now, because I’m sure of myself
She took more bites while talk along and
suddenly switch our meal
Me: (Laughing) what’s that for?
Funmi: I have feeling yours is more
delicious (She took some bites). I said it!
It’s more delicious
Me: (I took some bite off her own) Wao!
So I’ve been cheating myself all this
Funmi: what’s that?
Me; Mehn! This is by far more delicious
Funmi: Really, you are cheating me
She changed the it again, took some
bites and decided we are eating
Funmi: it seems whichever you eat get
more delicious, we are so eating each
That was how we eat, joke, gist and
laughed together. After the meal she
took the plates to the kitchen and
washed them even though I tried to
stop her from doing it. We then watched
the movie together. She was watching
“Diary of a Black woman”. At a point we
almost neglect the movie in totality and
started a deep conversation.
She told me a lot about herself, how she
lost her mother at age 10 and has never
been to church since then blaming God
for not saving her mother as she was
the only one that died in the motor
accident while all others involved were
saved. Her father has refused to marry
since then, though he recently told her
he met a woman he’ll love to marry but
has not made any move to that regard.
Her father made taking care of her a
priority over marrying another wife as
he was scared, the new wife might
maltreat her. I tried talking her into
coming to church and forgetting her
past, telling her God is unquestionable
and He’s the only One we can run to
when things go bad or good.
Around 5pm she received a call from her
mechanic telling her he’s done with the
car, to which she asked him to bring the
car down to my hostel as it’s closer to
the mechanics’ workshop. The car was
brought and I saw her off to the car not
after she gave me a warm and
emotional embrace I’m likely not going
to forget anytime soon.
Some minutes after that, Janet put a call
through to me asking me to come for
dinner at their side with Temmy’s
backing to which I decline saying I’m
busy and filled. I was actually trying to
avoid Janet and her complicated
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