On my final paper day, I received a call
from my mother in the morning before I
went for the paper by 12pm.
Me: Hello ma
Mum: Hello “Oko mi” (my husband; a
typical way Yoruba mothers call their
son). How are you?
Me: I’m fine mum. I’m writing my final
Mum: Glory be to God, I’m happy God has
put our doubters to shame, your success
means a lot to me than you can imagine
dear. I’m the happiest mother on earth
Me: Thanks mum, you are the best ever.
I’m so happy.
Mum: By God’s grace you won’t struggle
to get job.
Me: Amen. How are you mum?
Mum: Your mother is doing great dear.
What of Temiloluwa (Temmy)?
Me: He’s here. We are both writing our
Mum: I’m happy both of you are still
Temmy: (Shouting from the bottom side
of the mattress) Mummy we are now
Mum: Okare jare omo mi (Well done my
son). Opeyemi I want you to come home
today immediately after your paper.
Me: Why mum? I still have project
defense, both internal and external.
Mum: You’ll go back on Sunday or
Monday. There is somebody I need you
to meet and there are urgent things we
need to discuss.
Me: (Urgent thing to discuss? She has
never said that to me before. I hope all is
well) Hope all is well mum?
Mum: All is beautiful dear.
Me: What of Debby, is she coming home
Mum: Deborah is at already home. It’s
you we are waiting for.
Me: Okay mum. I should be home before
Mum: Please come earlier, you know I
don’t like night travelling and hope you
have enough on you.
Me: Yeah, Daddy Orire sent me some
money last week like he has been doing.
Mum he sends money to me almost
every two weeks but wouldn’t pick my
Mum: I really don’t know where you
both met. He likes you a lot. He’s already
working on how you’ll be employed at
the company where he works. He also
said he’ll love you to meet her daughter
Me: Hmm. Meeting her daughter? Hope
it’s not what I think?
Mum: Whatever you think dear. Marrying
her daughter won’t be a bad idea,
though I don’t want to interfere in your
love life. Go back to your book now; we’ll
talk better when you come in the
Me: (Better don’t come with that. It
might be the point I disobey you o) Okay
Mum, see you in the evening.
“Mum wants me to meet somebody. Is
she planning to re-marry? Although it’s
been long since she lost her husband
and I felt she has gotten used to it, still
I’ll be happy for her if that makes her
happy. I would have preferred she tell
me who the person is right now,
because I’m not sure she will allow me
to be back as early as I’ll want to, yet I
have unfinished business to cater for
The paper had already started and I was
sitting in the front row as usual. The
main reason I sit in the front is to avoid
disturbances from “shh”, “eh”, “guy”
people. Some would have started asking
you from number one and you’ll wonder
if they ever open their note or attend
any class. Apart from the fact that it’s
wrong both in the eye of school
management and God, distractions
affect my speed and performance
negatively in an exam hall. Whenever I
start writing, I don’t like to stop until I’ve
got nothing to write again.
Like 30 minutes to the end of the paper
according to one of the supervisors, I
was already done answering what was
required and was cross checking my
script when we all heard one of the
supervisors arguing with a student. The
guy was caught cheating by exchanging
his script with another student.
Unfortunately, the other person involved
was Uche. The supervisor insisted they
both must fill the examination
malpractice form and that will
automatically mean expulsion or four
semester suspension at least. It took the
intervention of our project supervisor
whom course exam we are writing
before they let them go. As a
punishment, they were both sent to the
front row and unfortunately for me,
Uche was brought right by my side. The
moment I saw her, I know trouble is
looming. I pondered on my best option
and decided to submit that moment but
was cautioned by Temmy who was
sitting by my other side. We’ve both
decided earlier before the exam started
not to be submitting earlier than others
as this has led to missing papers for
several people due to the carelessness of
the invigilators coupled with the fact
that the hall is always rowdy as people
tends to submit their script when the
invigilator threatened to leave the hall
after the allotted time.
I device another method of escape by
laying my head on the table pretending
to be sleeping but this does not bother
Uche at all as she was still calling me.
One thing I don’t understand about her
is, I know she’s not dull, in fact in their
click; she looks like the most brilliant as
she always have something to say when
questions were being asked in the class.
Uche: Will, Will, please now. Did you do
number 6? (I shook my head to say No)
What of number 8? (I shook my head to
say No as I only did the first 4 questions
with number 1 as compulsory) Then
which one did you do?
Supervisor: Who is that?
Uche: (she stood up and raised her
hand) Sir I want to. . .
Supervisor: You again? What do you
Uche: I want to borrow his pencil and
Supervisor: (Laughing profusely) You
came for exam without pencil and
eraser when you know you’ll need one
and you are just asking when you have
just 25min to go. Are you done with it?
Me: Yes sir
Supervisor: Please give it to her so we
can have peace. By the way, I don’t think
any question here requires drawing.
Uche: (Talking very fast in quick
succession as she came to collect the
pencil) Please help me write number 1
on your question paper, I’ll exchange
with you when you are done.
Sincerely this Uche of a girl must be a
devil, because I could sight from afar she
has done question number one. In fact
her answer booklet is filled almost to the
last sheet. Why will she want to do what
nearly put her in trouble just now? I
guess she’s banking on the fact our
supervisor is around to save her. I was
so happy to hear the supervisor say
“You have 15min more” to which almost
everybody responded with “Haa! Please
o”. The moment I sight like three people
standing to submit, I followed suit as
Temmy also did same, even though Uche
was protesting. She later said “Wait for
me o” when she discovered I wasn’t
going to stop.
We were already leaving after taking
pictures with some of our colleagues
when Uche came blocking
Uche: Will, you are too wicked
Me: Really, what did I do?
Uche: I asked you to write me number
one but you refused.
Me: Firstly, I’ll be going to senate to do
clearance, not to face panel for
malpractices. Secondly, why are you like
Uche: What do you mean, is it wrong to
ask for help?
Me: In this case very wrong. You almost
landed in trouble yet you won’t desist.
Uche: You are minding that man, it’s
Me: I also saw you’ve done number one
and almost all questions required of you,
why are you still asking?
Uche: Won’t I crosscheck if I’m right?
Me: And they told you I’m holding the
Uche: You are good now. By the way,
let’s snap before you go or we meet in
the evening. Will you be coming to the
level award party?
Me: Really, that sounds nice. How many
planks will be there?
Uche: Plank how?
Me: So I can know how many times I’m
going to pass out
Uche: Haba! You don’t forget things.
Nobody is going to fight there. Let’s go
Me: Okay, I’ve heard you
Uche: Which colour will you be wearing?
Wear white and black with red tie, I’ll
wear red and black too.
Me: That’s cool.
Uche: Or just wear red shirt with black
tie. Should I come to meet you in the
hostel or you’ll come to my side?
Me: Let’s meet at the party
Uche: Are you serious? Is your friend
Me: We all paid for the cloth and party
now, so he’s surely coming. We’ll come
Uche: Come with wine o
Me: Yes wine, with plank. You know we
might need to hit somebody
Uche: Be serious jor. Good wine o
Me: Okay. See you at the party.
If Uche believe I’m really coming to the
party, then she’s dumber than I thought.
Temmy and I headed straight for our
lodge and getting to the library, we saw
Funmi having conversation with that
new guy. Temmy wanted to call her but I
forbid him. He did went ahead to meet
her but I told him he might not meet me
at home, because I have to travel down
immediately. I don’t want to wait till the
time my mother will start chasing me
I was ready to move but was waiting for
Temmy to arrive. “I don’t know what
he’s discussing with Funmi for that
long”. After some minutes, he eventually
Me: You know I was waiting for you
Temmy: Sorry bro, I was watching a
drama in school. A student was running
away from lecturers and school
Me: En en, why are they chasing him?
Temmy: I later heard he impersonated
for somebody and was caught, so he
ran for his dear life (We both laughed)
Me: Funny people. I have to go now
before mum starts calling
Temmy: Alright. Let me drop these then
I’ll see you off. (He dropped the bag he
was carrying and we both head to the
road) Branch our side o, they will send
something through you. When will you
Me: I’m not sure. With the way mum was
talking, I don’t know what I’ll meet at
Temmy: Don’t stay long I beg, except you
want this place to get boring for me.
Me: You’ve got Rachael now
Temmy: Rachael still got papers to write.
By the way, you didn’t tell Funmi you
Me: Why would I tell her? She was the
one I first called when I started feeling
somehow, but she shunned me off,
Temmy: She was really surprised and
sorry when I told her. She was angry she
Me: I’m even surprised you told her self
Temmy: Hmm, where is that coming
from? Is she no more your heart desire?
Me: Believe me Temmy, I love her so
much, but I’m no more interested in the
drama. It’s getting boring already.
Temmy: She finished her paper this
Me: Oh, good for her
Temmy: Hope this is not because of
Janet’s break up with her fiancé?
Because I can see you guys are getting
Me: Janet was there when I needed
somebody. Janet has nothing to do with
it anyway; I just felt I’m getting fed up of
Temmy: That’s the problem with love. It’s
because you love her that you are angry
at her games.
Me: I agree I do love her, but I’m not
angry. I’m just getting back to my
senses. When I come back, I’ll see what
happens with her or somebody else.
Temmy: If you said so. I’m sure you guys
will settle things soon.
Me: If she want it settled. By the way, we
aren’t fighting, just playing games.
Temmy: I hear you. But I should tell you
what I’ve found out. She’s really sorry
about not being able to be with you
during that illness and I can tell you she
really loves you. I stylishly ask if she’s
already dating that guy. Though she
didn’t completely open up to whom the
guy was, but I’m positive they are not
Me: (I am so happy to hear that, but I
was going to pretend) You mean not
dating yet. Anyway, I’ll call you when I
Temmy: Alright bro. Call her too, she
really want you to. You are the man bro,
stop acting like a lady.
Me: I’ll think about it. Later
Temmy: Don’t think about it. Call her, I
know you want to, stop being stubborn.
And don’t be distracted by Janet. Her
fiancé will still come back; it’s not the
first time they are breaking up. Wish you
We hugged while I boarded a taxi going
to the garage.
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