The prognosticator episode 16

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****** DISASTER ******
“Christabel said i should removed anything
“what should i removed now?”
“I can’t removed her clothes”
“We are in outside not in bedroom”
“This girl must be high on women ritual
cream i rubbed, for her to say i should
removed anything removable”
“Something is amiss”
Christabel: ***she placed her right hand on
my shoulder and caress my chest with left
hand*** Pesman i said you should remove
anything removable
Me: What else do you want me to remove?
Christabel: Pesman i’m all yours you can
remove whatever you find attractive on me
Me: Including your trouser and shirt?
Christabel: If that’s what you want to
remove please go ahead
Me: Don’t you know we are in outside?
Christabel: I don’t care, all i care about is
you, not people looking at us
Me: ** At this junction i have to act fast, I
turned to M.c and i brought out another
1000naira note** M.c i will pay fine
M.c: **Collected the money from me** Finally
Finally you run away, my brother you no get
mind o, i trust myself… Anyway A very big
thanks yo you guyz, you really impressed me you can now go back to your seat, please give them around of applause “Kpa” “Kpa” “Kpa” The crowd clapped for us, we walked back to our seat
Christabel: Pesman be looking at my bag for
me, i want to go and pee outside
Me: Don’t stay too long ** She left,
immediately she left one beautiful dark girl
walked to me, she put on blue vest, “July
27th is all about Grace Happy birthday” was
inscribed at the front of the vest.
She sat beside me (Christabel chair) The girl was looking beautiful that i felt like kissing her that moment, The scent of perfume she wore smelt like that of “Smart perfume” she was truly angel on earth, the smile on her face is killing, before o knew it my dick was semi-hard, i must confess “BLACK Is BEAUTIFUL” Hi she said to me
Me: **Stammer** HHHH IIII
Girl: Please can i make use of your phone?
Me: Yes you can ** I brought out my phone
unlocked it gave it to her**
Girl: **She pounced some digits on it and
placed it on her ear but she doesn’t say
anything, she gave it back to me and said
thank you**
Me: Have you used it finished?
Girl: Yes i have
Me: Seems the number you called isn’t
Girl: It does
Me: But i can’t hear you say anything
Girl: Don’t bother your self, i saved my
number on your phone with “JAMEELAH”
Me: What is the meaning of “JAMEELAH?”
Girl: It is an hausa name
Me: So you are an hausa girl?
Girl: Yes from Zaria
Me: Woow that’s good i love Zaria
Jemeelah: Kanajih hausa na? ( Do you hear
Me: Kahdan’n (Little)
Jameelah: Toh (ok)
Me: Maiyasa kika sa numba ki akan waya na? (why do you saved your number on my
Jameelah: Zankira ki gobe (i will call you
Me: Kenada namba na? (Do you have my
Jameelah: Ainada namba, Nayi amfani da
wayanki sai na kira nawa, Bari imbarnan
domin mastoyan katana man (Yes i do, i
used your phone to called mine, get to go
now your bea is her)
** she walked away**
Christabel walked to me sited on her seat,
she faced me and said
Christabel: Who is that girl i saw you with?
Me: M.c asked her to come and ask for my
name (i lied)
Christabel: And you were talking like that?
Me: I don’t want to answer her because i
don’t know her until M.c signal me (i lied
Christabel: Hmmmm
Me: Believe me Christabel
Christabel: I do
Me: Thanks dear love you ** Omo this
fayemi charm na confirm oo, she as girls dey run after me**
Christabel: Don’t forget you are sleeping in
my house
Me: I don’t, i don’t promise and fail
Christabel: That’s wonderful you, love you
Me: Love you more
M.c: Make una laugh small, lem tell you one
funny story of Aminat
On that fateful day, Amina was on
her way to school when a motor cycle
knocked her down!
She was rushed to a nearby hospital
That night in her dream, an old woman
in white garment appeared to her and
warned her sternly that:
“As soon as you are discharged from
the hospital, you must wash the blood stains from that cloth you wore that day you were
involved in an accident otherwise
something terrible may happen to
Amina thought it was just an
ordinary dream not until she saw the
same old woman in her dream
again&again&again…. telling her to
wash the blood stains from the cloth.
This time,
Amina was frightened and told her
mother the dream.
Her mother simply told her to do
exactly as she was told.
The moment Amina got home from
the hospital, that very day she was
discharged, She soaked the cloth and started washing.
She washed and washed but there was
still small stain of blood on the cloth
because the blood stains had dried
She got tired and rinsed the cloth like
that. It was a white gown.
That night in her dream, the same old
woman appeared to her again and told
her to wash the cloth very well that
there was still blood stains on it which
may cause something terrible to
happen to her.
When Amina woke up, she checked
the time, it was 4:00am…everyw here
was still dark. She was consumed with
and because she was afraid of the
old woman’s caution, she got up, took the cloth and started washing.
She scrubbed it so hard that it felt like
it was going to tear.
Amina was scrubbing the cloth so
hard that tears almost started dropping
from her eyes when all of a sudden,
someone tapped her from behind.
She turned and behold, the old woman
in her dream had appeared to her in
real life….
Out of fear, Amina got up to run but fell
The old woman drew closer to Amina and
said softly,
“Henceforth! Use SUNLIGHT detergent to do your washings.” Lols.
b4 u insult me I’m still looking 4 the
guy who sent this to me so that I can break
his head.
**Every body laugh beyond imaginations, As
M.c continued with his hilarious jokes, we
were served with plate of rice and egg with
coca-cola drink, The bears ran here and
there with the tray we began to catch fun
when something horrible happened**
M.c: Next on the programme list is cutting of
the cake, the celebrate should come forward
with this list
1. Her parents (If on the sit)
2. Her boyfriends (If there is any)
3. Her best friends (With their Niggas)
4. Her neighbours
5. Her crushers
6. Her worst enemies (If present)
Abbey moved to the front hugged Grace so
tight, Grace signal to Christabel and i to also
come forward, her other friends also came
forward with their various boyfriends, some
of her relatives and neighbours also joined
us, we were about 25 on the stage ready for
cutting of the beautiful cake.
M.c: You are all welcome, but before we gat
this cake cut, there is one riddle for you
guys, Anybody that get it will go home with
25yen (Japanese currency).
Here is the riddle what is the English
Translation of “ATA SA PA MI LORI?”.
We all dumped for some minutes before the
most brilliant among us started with heavily
Grammar such as
“Pepper had entered my head”
“pepper enters my head”
“Pepper don enter my head”
“Pepper has entered my head”
“Pepper had circulated in to my head”
Till the moment i’m writing this story i
haven’t figured out the correct answer to
that question, but i believed you guys would
answer it in the comment box
M:c: I don laugh tired oo, you guys try sha,
but even me i don’t know the answer oo,
kindly take it home as an assignment, now
let get the cake cut.
Grace lighted the candles, All of us clapped.
She then blew out the candles and cut the
cake after m.c Spelled her name G-R-A-C-E.
We all sang in a chorus “Happy birthday to
you” “Happy birthday to you” “Happy
birthday to you Darling” “Happy birthday to
“How old are you now” “How old are you
now” “How old are you now Darling” “How
old are you now” “Happy birthday Darling,
many happy returns”.
But before we could finished our song i
heard “Gbosi” “Gbosi” “Gbosi” But i didn’t
felt any pain, i rubbed my right hand on my head there is no any sign of wound, what is happening to me?
Dupe words are about to pass again but i
couldn’t feel any pain maybe i would felt it
later, i was lost in thought when Abbey
fainted by my side, he was soak with blood,
i now faced the reality the sound of bottles i
heard was smashed on Abbey.
I quickly bent down to carry my friend,
Abbey! Abbey!! Abbey!!! I called out his
name but no replied. Grace and christabel were crying profusely, I raised up my head to see only Grace and christabel with me, everyone has ran away.
That was the end of the party
Grace; **Crying** what do we do now?
Please don’t leave me alone
Christabel: Don’t worry dear. We will stand
by you, pesman what do we do now?
Me: **Dupe prophecies later come to pass
sha, she said early that something bad will
happened, but thank God it wasn’t to me
but Abbey** I think we should carry him to
Grace: Where do we get car by this time of
the day?
Me: We will see car outside, this is past
Grace: I pray so
Christabel: You guys should stop wasting
time with this talking let save him on time
Me: Oya let carry him **We carried him
outside the gate, Thank God we found cab
on time and conveyed us to the nearest
Time was 11:12pm Abbey woke after he
was stabilized and injected by the nurse,
Thank God he made it.
Christabel: **whisper into my ear** pesman
i think its time for us to go my house
Me; I think we would sleep here in the
Christabel: No, i want to feel you in me
Me: Let stay with your friend and mine
(Grace and Abbey)
Christabel: **Faced grace** Baby we have to go now, we would check on you tomorrow
**She drag me out without hearing
response from grace, she don’t even
allowed me to say hi to Abbey**
Me: But why the hurry? (I said to her in
Christabel: It wasn’t my fault, i love you
pesman, wanna feel you
Me: I know but we shouldn’t rush
Christabel: I don’t rush the time is due
Me: Where do we see cab this night
Christabel: If we couldn’t see a cab again
this night, we will trek
Me: Trek?
Christabel: Yes! My house isn’t that far from
Me: Don’t you afraid of darkness?
Christabel: With you beside me, nothing bad
shall happen to me
Me: Hmmmm
Christabel: Pesman you are a man, try to act like one, lets go
Me: God i dey your hand o, protect me
against all the evil doer on the road ** We
started the journey by treking, we walked
like 10min and continued chatting like
happy couples before we heard**
It was vigilante people
“OLODE MU YIN” (you are under arrest)
To be continued

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