Ten Places You Could Always Charge Your Phone, e.t.c
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Hell yeah, this piece is dedicated to all the graduates that just finished their exams and would be jobless at home for the next few month and secondly to all the people that joined hands to vote Buhari into power, may Amadioha demolish una anus grin grin grin
Anyway the light situation in Nigeria has detoriated to an all time low even though some people claim to have light for about approximately 15 hours a day, I’m sure those folks are not up to 10% of the whole populace, like in my zone we only see power supply when I’m having wet dreams around 2am but before I open my eyes by 5am, power supply would have been interrupted so therefore I’ve been forced to go through orthodox means to always charge my phone since I’m an online person.
This places I’m going to name would enable you to charge your phone even when you’re penniless, in other words, you could charge your phone in this certain areas, free of charge if you are clever or witty enough.
P.S- this are for folks that wanna save their money from all this charging shops and outlets.
Holla, this is the most easiet place to charge your phone, rechargeable bulbs, e.t.c, just make sure you go early enough with your big bible and extension box in case of emergencies like some bad belly folks that would pull out your phone at 30% to charge their 97% batteries. Just pray that the church gen would not develop faults. Last but not the least, try and put small offering even if its N10, God would bless you.
2… Football viewing centers
This is what I call killing two birds with one stone, whenever your favorite team is playing, you could take your favorite charger and extension box along. Whether your team lose or wins, you would be satisfied that you have a more than an average percentage of battery juice. Only make sure that you don’t go all joy seeking with the goals galore as people that love your phone more than you could help your ministry and you would come to NL to cry for help. I’ll be like who you ‘EPP’ grin grin
This could either be a barbing saloon or a hair dressing saloon. If its a barbing saloon you could go there, gist with your niqqas while charging your phone, they won’t mind as far as you always patronise them. For the ladies you could plug your phones while making your hair or as a guy you could accompany your babe to the saloon in the guise of keeping her company, you charge your phone, she makes her hair and feels good that her man is watching over her, that’s a win-win situation for you (sharp guys know how to exploit this fact in the bedroom while sharp girls could use this method to magarise their guys into paying the bills)
4… Betting shops
This is specially dedicated to all my 9jabet, surebet and merrybet lovers and their friends. Due to the high cost of living and the low availability of jobs around, many youths have turned to betting to aid their livelihoods even though your winning odds are sparingly low. I tried betting once and after Leicester blasted my ticket by allowing Hull city to flog their asses, I quit as quickly as I began, thank God for me.
Well most betting shops have their generator sets on standby always due to large influx of customers so if you have spare time, enter their shops, plug your phone and have a filled day laughing at those people who lament their bursted tickets but if you go to a betting shop and their Generator set is off, and you seriously need a little battery juice, just use the following steps of mine.
a, Tell them you wanna bet
b, Plug your phone
c, start selecting teams as slow as you can, make sure you play up to 70-90 matches, your bet slip would be longer than river Nile, after 30 minutes of brainstorming odds accumulation, tell them to print the slip then unplug your phone and put it in your pocket.
d, bring out your wallet and shout ‘chai’ while claiming not to have any money with you, the operator would vex and tear your ticket.
e, Walk home happily with your re-energised phone
(Please, don’t try that stunt twice in one shop)
You must wear dark shades and dress well to kill this stunt, walk into a bank premises and ask for the bank manager, tell him you’ve got a lot of huge dollar deals to process but your phone is down, you would be given a VIP booth and maybe free WiFi to browse because all banks need senior customers, when your battery juice is to your contention, fake a long distance call and make a lot of noise, ask for permission to step outside, run quickly to the nearest keke napep and dash home. The next day you could repeat another stunts.
(For more stunts advices, PM with N1500 airtime and I’ll advice you)
6… Game shop
Be it Sega, Xbox, PS, Nintendo game shop, just make sure your extension box is with you, hail the winners and laugh at the losers while you watch your phone. You might end up getting a free game by a jolly fellow or complete an abandoned game by a fellow who is trailing my 6 goals just after halftime.
7… Charging shops/booths
I know you need cash for the boosting of your phone battery but if you follow this method, you would be charging free for as long as you care.
Step 1- befriend the shop owner, anything you run out of battery juice, go there, gist with them a lot and charge your phone, they won’t bite you.
Step 2- if you are without a friend in such places, just dress well, sling a bag over your shoulders and walk with teary eyes like a lost traveller, tell the shop owner that you are a stranger in town and you lack cash, beg him/her that you seriously need to call someone, 90% of the time, this act works, make sure you envelope the shop owner with lots of exciting gist to whirl away time. If you are lucky you might even be blessed with a generous sum if the owner is generous enough.
8… Filling Stations
You have to either have a very close friend or girl friend there or a vehicle that needs oil change. Filling stations always have constant power supply due to their influx of customers so you don’t have to worry much as far as you have an alibi to aid your charging process.
Whenever you go to any high brow hospital for either evangelism or visitation, always take your charger along. As you are ministering the word of God or consoling the ailing patients, you could locate the nearest wall socket but in case all wall sockets are occupied, you could unplug somebody’s life support machine and charge your phone grin grin grin na joke oooo
10… Last but not the least, well I’m sure many people weren’t expecting this but shiiit’s real.
NEPA/PHCN offices grin grin
Trust me when I say this homies can’t even provide electricity for their sorry selves as the resort to using generators, so next time you are passing through a PHCN office and you hear the sound of a “I better pass my neighbor” generator, rush in, bribe the gate man with juicy tales while you charge your phone in his small office.