“What did I just do? I think I’m over
reacting, I should have at least waited
for her and ask her about the guy. What
if I’m just being judgmental about
nothing? I think I’m acting weird.” All
these was still going through my mind
as I walk down towards their gate only
to be blocked or should I say bullied by
Uche again
Uche: Hey lover boy, I guess you rejected
the plank.
I just ignore her as I focused on my way
out of the place because I’m
unnecessarily getting angry. Uche did
ran towards me and grab my left hand,
tending to pull me back inside from the
gate but I fling her hand off me
Me: (Speaking angrily) Uche what’s
wrong with you? What’s your problem?
Uche: Oh oh, I’ve never seen you like this
before. What happened?
I ignored her and headed straight out of
the compound. Funmi’s call did come
through into my phone but I ignored it
and called for a bike. I went back to my
lodge but decided to drop at the eatery
close to my lodge, not because I was
hungry but I needed to clear my head
somehow. I ordered for Fanta and was
sipping it slowly when Funmi’s call came
through again, but this time I
terminated it. “But why am I angry? Am I
sane at all?”. After this thought, my nerve
calm down a little and I was able to see
what’s going on around me. A text
message popped up on my phone from
Funmi and I reluctantly check it. It reads
“Please pick my call. You are
misunderstanding things”. I thought
about the message and realize I was
angry because I couldn’t bear the
thought of losing her. She called again
and I picked up this time
Me: Hello
Funmi: Will, where are you?
Me: I’m at the lodge
Funmi: You are not at the lodge. I just
call Temmy and he said you are not.
Please tell me where you are.
Me: Don’t worry; I’ll come back to your
side now.
Funmi: I don’t believe that. Please tell me,
I’ll come down.
Me: I’m already on my way back to you
Funmi: Alright, I’m waiting.
I couldn’t imagine myself being
emotional in the public, which is why I
chose to go back to her place. I took a
bike back to her side without thinking if
I’m in my right senses or not. I also pray
silently Uche would have left their
compound or at least enter a room
before I get there, so I can go to Funmi’s
room with fair mind.
I could sight Funmi outside their gate as
the bike approaches their lodge but the
guy was still with her there. She barely
allowed me to come off the bike as she
hugged me so tight like a wife will hug
her husband she’s been waiting for a
very long time. My hands were still free
and it’s becoming embarrassing, so I
had to embrace her too and whispered
to her “we are outside in public Funmi”,
to which she respond with “I don’t
care”. After staying there for almost two
minutes with the bike man not yet paid,
she let me off while the guy paid the
bike man before I could remove my
wallet. We entered their compound and
surprisingly Uche was no more in the
compound and that’s a prayer
answered. While inside, Funmi tried to
force me to sit down but I remain
standing while the guy stood beside the
Funmi: Why did you leave without even
seeing me?
Me: I’m not really in the right mind to
talk now
Guy: I’ll be outside, if you need me let me
know. (He left the room to give us space
while I look him with a furious gaze)
Funmi: (Smiling) I need you to calm
down and talk.
Me: You know what? I think I’m out of
my mind and I’m going crazy. I shouldn’t
be angry but I am, I shouldn’t have left
like that but I did? Is that normal?
Funmi: (Still smiling) Yes you are normal,
just cool down and stop rushing the
Me: The thing is I don’t really like
dragging or fighting or even competing
in situations like this, maybe that’s why
I’m behaving like I’m crazy.
Funmi: (Still smiling) Maybe you are crazy
Me: Funmi I’m sorry I have to say this but
I. . .
Funmi: Are you really sorry?
Me: (Sighs) That’s true, I’m not sorry
about it. I love you Funmi and I think I’m
crazy about it because the more I see
you, the more I love you. You’ve filled my
thought to the extent that removing you
will automatically turn my mind into a
vacuum. I love you so much I want you
to be the person I’ll be waking up to see
every morning for the rest of my life.
Funmi: Meaning I can’t travel again, even
you won’t be able to travel and sleep?
Me: Funmi, if you know the temperature
of my mind now, you’ll realize I’m
serious and more real than magma. But I
can’t compete with that guy.
Funmi: You don’t have to compete with
him Will, you have nobody to compete
with except yourself.
Me: I don’t understand.
Funmi: (Stood up and face me) Will, do
you have idea how long I’ve been
waiting for you to come to me? You
nearly crushed my heart.
Me: I’m sorry. I know I pushed you too
much; I only wanted to be sure
Funmi: And you are sure now?
Me: One thousand percent and still
counting. I love you so much I don’t
know how to say it. I’m in love with you.
Funmi: I told you I never had a boyfriend
Me: I’m not asking you to be my
girlfriend Funmi (I went down with one
knee on the ground and the other
raised up in seven shape) I’m sorry I’m
not too foreign, I should have get a ring,
but I’m asking you from the bottom of
my heart representing the conference of
cells and organs in my body. Will you be
my Favour from the Lord and marry me?
She look at me with a sorry face, shook
her head in a “NO” manner and knee
down with me.
Funmi: I’ve always and will always love
you Will. Yes, I’ll be your wife.
She hugged me passionately and gave
me a quick lip kiss as the guy enters into
the room clapping his hands as if he’s
been listening to all our conversation.
Guy: Bros, I’ve learnt like two more lines
from you today. Mehn I love those lines.
(Demonstrating with his hand) “You out
of me equals vacuum” Bravo!
I was totally confused as Funmi laughs
on. We both stood up releasing each
other from the hug. The guy then
hugged her and says;
Guy: Congratulations, at last.
Funmi: Will, meet my cousin Samson, he’s
a pre-degree student
Samson: (I was still looking like a ghost
as the guy shook my hand) Congrats
bros Will. But your “wahala” much o. You
just make sis to be crying and wishing
every day.
Me: She cried?
Samson: (Funmi tried to cover his
mouth) Many times bros Will.
Me: (I pulled her to me and used my
hand to trace her face like I’m wiping
tears) Well that’s the last time you’ll ever
cry because of me. I won’t be an onion
that makes you cry, neither will I be an
orange that pains you in the eye. I’ll be
your apple, so that you can eat me totally
and completely with the peel, without
pain. (She placed her head on my chest
and hugs me still)
Samson: Bros Will, that’s another line o.
Apple and not onions mehn. I think I’ll
have you tutor me on these lines. By the
way, call me Sam, it is sweet that way.
Me: Thank you Sam, you did a very good
job making me jealous. Mehn I nearly
ran mad.
Sam: Anything for my angelic sister.
Funmi: Were you that threatened?
Me: I was really threatened and almost
got discouraged. I never got a second
on your DP but you kept a guy there for
more than a week.
Funmi: (Laughs) I didn’t know that will
get you until you called. I thought his
young face will ring a bell to you
Me: He’s got no young face. Dude is
mature already
Sam: (Speaking from the other end of
the room) I’m still young o, don’t spoil
market for me.
Me: But why did you have to go that far?
Funmi: I got really upset about those
messages and you were not deleting
them. It’s more like you are enjoying it.
Me: To be fair, I was a bit enjoying it.
Funmi: When Temmy told me you were
sick and did not call me, I knew I’m
losing you and had to try again.
Me: Hmm. I’m sorry you go through that
emotional stress.
Funmi: I only hope there is no more
Janet, because I can’t compete too.
Me: Janet is out of the picture. She’s
having her introduction soon.
Funmi: She was engaged?
Me: Yeah she is. There is one person
you’ll have to deal with though
Funmi: Who is that?
Me: Uche
Funmi: Uche the party girl?
Me: Yeah
Funmi: She’s on you too?
Me: I don’t really know, but she’s
troublesome. She invited me to a party
tonight in their hostel and said she’ll
make sure I come.
Funmi: I don’t trust that babe. Nobody in
this hostel trusts her friends she do
come visit. They are capable of anything,
so you’ll have to be careful of her.
Me: After project defense, she’ll be totally
Funmi: Good. Let me set food for you
Me: Wait I have an announcement to
make before that
Funmi: I’m listening
Me: (I used my right hand as
microphone) Ladies and gentlemen,
brothers and sisters, sons and
daughters, old and young, indigenes
and foreigners, I your boy “Whatever
that means to you” is hereby declaring I
have gotten my baby dove, the angel to
which my story is on, my heart desire,
it’s no other person than my one and
only Oluwafunmilola.(She started to
blush) I can’t hear you clap, (Now she’s
laughing) keep clapping, yes, that’s more
like it(seriously laughing as Sam started
clapping). Be it known to you, that as
from today onward, she ceased to be
just Funmi again
Funmi: Really?
Me: She’s now my baby dove
Funmi: Hun hun
Me: My sugar
Funmi: Oh yeah!
Me: My honey
Funmi: We are getting there
Me: And my. . . (I was thinking of what to
Sam: Fuel don finish?
Me: My Superlative Angel of Everything. I
love you so much Oluwafunmilola
Funmi: I love you with everything William
Opeyemi Albert. Time to eat sir
That was how I eventually seal my love
with Funmi, and can only pray and work
towards making the relationship work. I
am now in good frame of mind to go to
Aramide, with Funmi by my side; I think I
can face whatever I meet there.

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